For my last post of 2011, I want to give myself a few goals for the upcoming year even if it may be the last for the world. I did make it through one world ending day, but I don't mind partying like the world will end tomorrow. I also must say this last year has been a good one. There were moments of happiness and sadness, and I am happy that I was able to document those moments by blogging. Writing is good for the soul. Now for my world ending resolutions:
1. More Yoga and Dance! Not only are these going to help me shed the rolling holiday pounds, but they will be help me unwind. As classes become more serious and some relationships more complicated, I will need a healthy way to relieve some stress.
2. Stay Positive! When the world gets sad, I want to use the written word and a good cry to grieve. Then I need to move on to more positive thoughts that don't include retail therapy. In the words of Churchill,"When going through hell, keep going."
3. Take More Financial Responsibility! In a little over a year, I will be supporting myself. I want to use the next year to learn more about my money and what I need to support myself. I also want to look into investing in some property while the market is slow. Hopefully I could use the property to give myself an extra income in the future.
4. Keep Strong Relationships! In the last year, I built good relationships with my parents, and I kept up with the people who are meant to be in my life. I want to keep those relationships strong and improve my ability to balance my time between my responsibilities and relationships. Having a large support system of friends and family makes life the best it can be.
5. Make New Connections! Last year, I made so many new friends. All of those friends helped me to grow in some way, and I want to continue bring new people and influence into my life in this next year. I hope to continue to see myself grow and improve through the help of new relationships.
I am excited for the start of 2012. I have a feeling it will be one of the best years of my life. I also hope it is not the end of the world, but if it is, I know I will go out happy and without regret. Time to party like there is no tomorrow! Bring on 2012!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Winter Wonders
The reunion with some of my Italia friends was wonderful. I miss them already! Skiing and living the hippie life for a week was awesome. Loved my mountain vacation.
This Christmas eve I spend in Alabama. Nice to spend time with family especially when they agree to pay for more of my travels. Now I just have to decide where I want to go next and soon.
I have missed Angel since I have been home. I feel like I have cried as much for my little cat as I did when my grandfather died seven years ago. She was so amazing and loving. I miss her a lot. I am sad she couldn't make it to Christmas. Poor Angel.
Holidays without traditions are not that special. I hope maybe one day we could just travel for the holidays. Paris for Christmas would be awesome and so beautiful.
I can't believe the year is almost over. It went by so quickly. For the most part it has been a good year. I am happy to see what the next year will bring. It will be nice to have a place to sleep this year besides my car. Not such a fan of starting out the year homeless. Already this next year is looking up. There is a possibility that this could be the last new years. In fact there could be less than a year left for everyone. Time to live up to everything. I have decided that I will not hold back this year since it may be the end of the world. Time to live large and do everything to the max. Living every day like it could be the last.
Happy holidays!
This Christmas eve I spend in Alabama. Nice to spend time with family especially when they agree to pay for more of my travels. Now I just have to decide where I want to go next and soon.
I have missed Angel since I have been home. I feel like I have cried as much for my little cat as I did when my grandfather died seven years ago. She was so amazing and loving. I miss her a lot. I am sad she couldn't make it to Christmas. Poor Angel.
Holidays without traditions are not that special. I hope maybe one day we could just travel for the holidays. Paris for Christmas would be awesome and so beautiful.
I can't believe the year is almost over. It went by so quickly. For the most part it has been a good year. I am happy to see what the next year will bring. It will be nice to have a place to sleep this year besides my car. Not such a fan of starting out the year homeless. Already this next year is looking up. There is a possibility that this could be the last new years. In fact there could be less than a year left for everyone. Time to live up to everything. I have decided that I will not hold back this year since it may be the end of the world. Time to live large and do everything to the max. Living every day like it could be the last.
Happy holidays!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Winter Sundays
There is a certain sadness and loneliness that can only be found on Sunday nights during the winter season. These feelings find me restless tonight. I just don't like Sunday nights or winter. Both are terribly dreadful.
I miss my baby girl, but I am relieved that she is no longer in stress or pain. She can breathe again and she has been restored to her full womanly figure. She is my beautiful bright white Angel.
This past weekend was wonderful. I enjoyed a few lazy days of Netflix, wine. and Mexican. DT nights were entertaining.
Today I organized my apartment because if you organize your living space you can organize your life. Tomorrow I will study for my last final between pampering sessions. I have a hair appointment in the afternoon. A new hair style quickly creates a feeling of confidence and happiness. I also plan on a much needed pedicure. I can study my notes while in the massage chair. Relaxed and focused while putting some much needed color on my toes. My incentive to passing my last final is the hot stone massage I scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. I will begin my winter break without tension.
I am excited to take my favorite Texan out in Athens. I am also nervous about skiing. I don't usually do well in snow. The Italia reunion will be amazing. I can reconnect with my hipster side.
I am close to overcoming all of the obstacles. Happiness and joyous occasions are within reach.
I miss my baby girl, but I am relieved that she is no longer in stress or pain. She can breathe again and she has been restored to her full womanly figure. She is my beautiful bright white Angel.
This past weekend was wonderful. I enjoyed a few lazy days of Netflix, wine. and Mexican. DT nights were entertaining.
Today I organized my apartment because if you organize your living space you can organize your life. Tomorrow I will study for my last final between pampering sessions. I have a hair appointment in the afternoon. A new hair style quickly creates a feeling of confidence and happiness. I also plan on a much needed pedicure. I can study my notes while in the massage chair. Relaxed and focused while putting some much needed color on my toes. My incentive to passing my last final is the hot stone massage I scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. I will begin my winter break without tension.
I am excited to take my favorite Texan out in Athens. I am also nervous about skiing. I don't usually do well in snow. The Italia reunion will be amazing. I can reconnect with my hipster side.
I am close to overcoming all of the obstacles. Happiness and joyous occasions are within reach.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
An End to Sadness
Its been a long week's journey to the almost end of the semester. I am happy to be done with all papers and classes for the semester. I am also relieved at the end of all worrying and suffering. I have been crying for A since August. The grief still lingers, but the oceans of tears have come to their end. Now is time for happiness and celebration. This weekend will be one to remember, and in a few short weeks, I will be reunited with my summer friends. No more sadness. I will dry my tired eyes and enjoy myself. Cheers to the freaking weekend.
Monday, November 28, 2011
My ángelly 1998-2011
When I was 7 years old, my mother surprised my sister and I will an early Christmas present. To my absolute amazement, we drove to the humane society, and we were each told we could have our own kitten. It was a dream come true! I had been planning this moment for years, so I knew exactly what I wanted-- a pure white cat that I could name Angel.
In the room fo
r 4 month old kittens, I found a mother with a litter of four kittens. The mother was a large long haired white cat, and the four kittens below her were mostly white with spots of grey. Spot, Spot, Spot, and Not. Not was a pure white kitten with gleaming gold eyes and hair so light her ears were brilliant pink. I was in love.
Angel was paid for and packed into the car. She was silent and nervous on the drive through the McDonald's drive through and back home. Angel finally opened up when I had her inside my bathroom where she lived her first days with us. I fed her part of my plain happy meal cheeseburger as she purred and licked my hand.
When my family arrived for the holiday season, I was excited to show off my beautiful new friend. "I didn't think Angel could walk for the first few years since you always carried her around," said my grandmother.
Angel and I spent a lot of time together. She would sit on my bed and attack my pencil when I was trying to do my homework or eat the corners of my books when I was reading. She spent her nights in my room sitting by my head purring and licking my hand. In the mornings, the sounds of the alarm upset her so she would cry and turn it off herself. Angel loved to troll the top of the stairs in front of my room. She was my little guard kitty, but when I could get her to settle down into a lap cat, she was the warmest cat. We took to calling her Sherman, the fire of Atlanta.
Christmas was Angel's favorite holiday. She loved to sleep on the tree skirt and even decorate the house. When my mom got the ornaments out, Angel would take them out and run with them through the house. Winter was also the only time Angel could blend in enough to go hunting. She had her share of chipmunks, but once she caugh
t a huge bird that was bigger than she was. Angel was determined to get the bird even though it almost flew away with her.
Angel was beautiful with her sleek body, delicate paws, and angled Egyptian face. She was the model for all of the photo shoots my friends and I put on when we got new cameras the one year. Although beautiful, she was extremely hairy! Medium long white hairs were on everything. I would joke to my mother that she did not need an angora rabbit instead she could knit with all of Angel's fur. I couldn't leave my house without using 12 sheets of lent roller to get off most of the white hair, but I was thankful to see some of those white hairs when I was without my baby.
Angel loved to talk. We would have whole conversations in cat meows. She was always there with comforting words or meows of excitement. She was one of the best support systems I ever had. She backed me up on everything. One time my momma tried to get me out of bed early for school, and Angel yelled and pawed at her from the bed until I got to stay home for the day. She loved me unconditionally.
When I came home from Italy in August, I noticed that Angel, who had become a full figured woman, felt unusually light. A trip to the vet revealed that she had lost a lot of weight and her lungs were not functioni
ng at their full capacity. At first we hoped it was only extreme asthma, and steroids would fix her. A miracle cure did not happen. Angel got worse and lost more weight. Cancer was eating her alive. The vet had once dubbed her as the delicate cat with a weak immune system, but Angel proved she was a fighter. She eagerly stayed vibrant and lively even up to her final hour.
Yesterday, my baby girl was so weak she could no longer stand. She was still trying to eat, and she purred even though she did not have the breath to do so. I picked her up and we drove to the vet. She clasped into my lap and cried only twice. I on the other hand cried all the way there and I have hardly stopped since. I gave ángelly a final kiss and rubbed her pink ear a last time before the vet tech took her to the back. I broke down in the bathroom of the emergency vet which was decorated in tissue boxes and
a poem called the Rainbow Bridge.
A few minutes later, they handed me a heart shaped clay paw print impression and her body in a blue bundled blanket. She was still warm, and I clung to her for the next hour. I left her in her favorite white chair so my daddy could bury her body.
My baby girl lived a short life of only 13 years, but they were full of love and personality. She was an amazing cat and I will always remember how much she loved me and vice versa. I want to remember Angel in the way I saw her most-- flipped upside down in her favorite chair talking to me.
In the room fo
r 4 month old kittens, I found a mother with a litter of four kittens. The mother was a large long haired white cat, and the four kittens below her were mostly white with spots of grey. Spot, Spot, Spot, and Not. Not was a pure white kitten with gleaming gold eyes and hair so light her ears were brilliant pink. I was in love.Angel was paid for and packed into the car. She was silent and nervous on the drive through the McDonald's drive through and back home. Angel finally opened up when I had her inside my bathroom where she lived her first days with us. I fed her part of my plain happy meal cheeseburger as she purred and licked my hand.
When my family arrived for the holiday season, I was excited to show off my beautiful new friend. "I didn't think Angel could walk for the first few years since you always carried her around," said my grandmother.
Angel and I spent a lot of time together. She would sit on my bed and attack my pencil when I was trying to do my homework or eat the corners of my books when I was reading. She spent her nights in my room sitting by my head purring and licking my hand. In the mornings, the sounds of the alarm upset her so she would cry and turn it off herself. Angel loved to troll the top of the stairs in front of my room. She was my little guard kitty, but when I could get her to settle down into a lap cat, she was the warmest cat. We took to calling her Sherman, the fire of Atlanta.
Christmas was Angel's favorite holiday. She loved to sleep on the tree skirt and even decorate the house. When my mom got the ornaments out, Angel would take them out and run with them through the house. Winter was also the only time Angel could blend in enough to go hunting. She had her share of chipmunks, but once she caugh
t a huge bird that was bigger than she was. Angel was determined to get the bird even though it almost flew away with her.Angel was beautiful with her sleek body, delicate paws, and angled Egyptian face. She was the model for all of the photo shoots my friends and I put on when we got new cameras the one year. Although beautiful, she was extremely hairy! Medium long white hairs were on everything. I would joke to my mother that she did not need an angora rabbit instead she could knit with all of Angel's fur. I couldn't leave my house without using 12 sheets of lent roller to get off most of the white hair, but I was thankful to see some of those white hairs when I was without my baby.
Angel loved to talk. We would have whole conversations in cat meows. She was always there with comforting words or meows of excitement. She was one of the best support systems I ever had. She backed me up on everything. One time my momma tried to get me out of bed early for school, and Angel yelled and pawed at her from the bed until I got to stay home for the day. She loved me unconditionally.
When I came home from Italy in August, I noticed that Angel, who had become a full figured woman, felt unusually light. A trip to the vet revealed that she had lost a lot of weight and her lungs were not functioni
ng at their full capacity. At first we hoped it was only extreme asthma, and steroids would fix her. A miracle cure did not happen. Angel got worse and lost more weight. Cancer was eating her alive. The vet had once dubbed her as the delicate cat with a weak immune system, but Angel proved she was a fighter. She eagerly stayed vibrant and lively even up to her final hour.Yesterday, my baby girl was so weak she could no longer stand. She was still trying to eat, and she purred even though she did not have the breath to do so. I picked her up and we drove to the vet. She clasped into my lap and cried only twice. I on the other hand cried all the way there and I have hardly stopped since. I gave ángelly a final kiss and rubbed her pink ear a last time before the vet tech took her to the back. I broke down in the bathroom of the emergency vet which was decorated in tissue boxes and
a poem called the Rainbow Bridge. A few minutes later, they handed me a heart shaped clay paw print impression and her body in a blue bundled blanket. She was still warm, and I clung to her for the next hour. I left her in her favorite white chair so my daddy could bury her body.
My baby girl lived a short life of only 13 years, but they were full of love and personality. She was an amazing cat and I will always remember how much she loved me and vice versa. I want to remember Angel in the way I saw her most-- flipped upside down in her favorite chair talking to me.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
When going through hell, keep going
Hell is what I have been going through since Monday October 31. Halloween brought tragic news in the morning. The morning after an amazing GA/FL, I was woken up by my phone. First my doctor wanted to reschedule the appointment we had for that day. Great now I had to drive through ATL traffic on a Friday 5 o' clock, but much worse news was to come. Through a high school friend, I was informed that my favorite, sarcastic life long coach had been killed in a car accident early that morning. Something inside of me went numb. Coach Conway was so young. I still remembered his wedding. How could he be dead? He was my coach. The reason I was in love with defense and the history of football. He was involved in 90% of my best high school memories. Why was this wonderful person dead before he turned 35?
I went numb after the tragic event. I just had no idea what to do. My momma suggested a letter to the wife and son he left behind. I have yet to bring myself to make one of my favorite high school teachers and her son cry. I just so far have yet to be able to accept the death of my beloved coach. It just doesn't make sense how someone with so much passion for life could die. He was avoiding deer. Three of them to be exact. He died so that three deer could live. How many people would give their life for deer? Why do wonderful people go long before they are due?
Speaking of death, I have yet to give up on my baby girl. God hope my parents if they ever go into a coma. She did not look good when I saw her. Angel made her best efforts to make me happy. She ate and drank what I gave her and even came into the room of the little general to be with me. All of that still did not make her better. She was so small; she was literally a skeleton. I felt every knob in her spine and even the bones in her face. She is suffering, but fighting. I just cant stand to kill the fight in someone who wants life so badly. I know it sounds cruel, but I want to give her every chance and day she has. If she is fighting for life, why shouldn't I fight with her?
So much death and despair has marred me lately. I have had a difficult time getting up and facing the awful world. I even found a story today that would have been incredible with a little more research. I just could not bring myself to cover a murder. No 19 year old should be shot in the head. What psycho path takes out someone in their prime? It does not make sense. Murder is so senseless. Deaths always come in threes. To the gods, please let those be the three. No one else needs to die. Life is too good to be taken away so soon. Winston Churchill said it best,"When going through hell, keep going." Light and life is awaiting; don't give up. Never give up on anything.
I went numb after the tragic event. I just had no idea what to do. My momma suggested a letter to the wife and son he left behind. I have yet to bring myself to make one of my favorite high school teachers and her son cry. I just so far have yet to be able to accept the death of my beloved coach. It just doesn't make sense how someone with so much passion for life could die. He was avoiding deer. Three of them to be exact. He died so that three deer could live. How many people would give their life for deer? Why do wonderful people go long before they are due?
Speaking of death, I have yet to give up on my baby girl. God hope my parents if they ever go into a coma. She did not look good when I saw her. Angel made her best efforts to make me happy. She ate and drank what I gave her and even came into the room of the little general to be with me. All of that still did not make her better. She was so small; she was literally a skeleton. I felt every knob in her spine and even the bones in her face. She is suffering, but fighting. I just cant stand to kill the fight in someone who wants life so badly. I know it sounds cruel, but I want to give her every chance and day she has. If she is fighting for life, why shouldn't I fight with her?
So much death and despair has marred me lately. I have had a difficult time getting up and facing the awful world. I even found a story today that would have been incredible with a little more research. I just could not bring myself to cover a murder. No 19 year old should be shot in the head. What psycho path takes out someone in their prime? It does not make sense. Murder is so senseless. Deaths always come in threes. To the gods, please let those be the three. No one else needs to die. Life is too good to be taken away so soon. Winston Churchill said it best,"When going through hell, keep going." Light and life is awaiting; don't give up. Never give up on anything.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Pour On More Steam
I visited my baby girl on Monday before going to a doctor's appointment. She looks so much better! I got there, and she was acting like she did before she got sick. She was up and moving around and talking to me. She went outside and even ate two whole cans of food. Momma called me today and told me she was having a really good day. She is a fighter. Its makes me happy that I didn't have her put to sleep. She is still happy and hanging in there. Who am I to take that away from her.
She has even inspired me to be more productive after having a lazy week. Time to get back on top of things. If lung cancer cant slow her down then I shouldn't let a simple cold stop me from getting everything done.
I am very excited for this weekend. The most amazing halloween costumes ever were delivered yesterday. Ready for a ridiculous time on Frat Beach! I am seriously hoping UGA can win out and take the East. Forget Yurman. I am getting SEC championship tickets for an early Christmas present.
Its amazing how quickly this semester has flown by. Not long before cruise time. The diet is working aka my clothes are starting to fit much better. So I will be ready for a belated bikini season. A week in the Bahamas, St. Thomas, and San Juan will definitely help me prepare for the stress of finals week immediately following a wonderful vacation. But at least I have a reunion with my amazing Italia friends to look forward to. Time to power through and enjoy everything. Still praying my baby girl will fight on and beat the odds.
She has even inspired me to be more productive after having a lazy week. Time to get back on top of things. If lung cancer cant slow her down then I shouldn't let a simple cold stop me from getting everything done.
I am very excited for this weekend. The most amazing halloween costumes ever were delivered yesterday. Ready for a ridiculous time on Frat Beach! I am seriously hoping UGA can win out and take the East. Forget Yurman. I am getting SEC championship tickets for an early Christmas present.
Its amazing how quickly this semester has flown by. Not long before cruise time. The diet is working aka my clothes are starting to fit much better. So I will be ready for a belated bikini season. A week in the Bahamas, St. Thomas, and San Juan will definitely help me prepare for the stress of finals week immediately following a wonderful vacation. But at least I have a reunion with my amazing Italia friends to look forward to. Time to power through and enjoy everything. Still praying my baby girl will fight on and beat the odds.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Life Goes On
This weekend was odd and full of way too much junk food, but I had a wonderful time. Definitely one of the best weekends in Athens this semester. I got to experience a great time with true friends.
I also gained a gym buddy this weekend. I need that in my life. I have been slacking in the last two weeks. I feel like this positive influence will be beneficial to multiple aspects of my well being. It is an inspiration to do more for physical fitness and school work.
An exciting internship opportunity has presented itself. I have a few options on the table, but I am not sure what direction I want to take. I have been working for a magazine, and it is taking so much time to write stories I don't care about. I wish I could write for a travel medium. My book is still slowly coming along. I did a small amount of research this weekend. I am hoping to get a lot written over the Christmas break when I have more time. I want to write short fiction stories again too. I miss writing those. The news is boring, and that is all I seem to be writing lately.
My baby girl made it through the weekend. She is not eating anymore, so we have switched to fluids for her. She still seems so happy, but she is struggling more. She is not in pain yet. She purrs and has been more active since my visit. I still can't stand to pull the plug on her life. She is my baby. I can't take her out. Let life go on.
I also gained a gym buddy this weekend. I need that in my life. I have been slacking in the last two weeks. I feel like this positive influence will be beneficial to multiple aspects of my well being. It is an inspiration to do more for physical fitness and school work.
An exciting internship opportunity has presented itself. I have a few options on the table, but I am not sure what direction I want to take. I have been working for a magazine, and it is taking so much time to write stories I don't care about. I wish I could write for a travel medium. My book is still slowly coming along. I did a small amount of research this weekend. I am hoping to get a lot written over the Christmas break when I have more time. I want to write short fiction stories again too. I miss writing those. The news is boring, and that is all I seem to be writing lately.
My baby girl made it through the weekend. She is not eating anymore, so we have switched to fluids for her. She still seems so happy, but she is struggling more. She is not in pain yet. She purrs and has been more active since my visit. I still can't stand to pull the plug on her life. She is my baby. I can't take her out. Let life go on.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Homecoming
My last three weekends have been spent away from the great city of Athens, and I am finally back from meeting new people and exploring other school campuses. Many other friends are also returning to Athens for the weekend. Its a homecoming of the ages. Shambles are to ensue. A plan to reunite with the Florence family soon. A winter break filled with a date in Athens and a ski trip in the mountains.
It was a horrible week, but I am writing that off on the weather. Rain, rain go away. The upcoming forecast is a sunny weekend. I am hoping for a more sunny outcome of events as well.
Since my life has been man free for the last few weeks, I am trying a new method as a test of my desirability. All was going well until I was contacted by a toe sucking freak. Blocked. More hopes for the future and a real wealthy prince charming.
I have started writing the wonderful book. I have an outline and most of a chapter. I had a job offer, but I haven't heard anything from the employer in over a week. I am hoping it is because a position has not yet come available. My fingers are still crossed.
My baby girl is still surviving and holding on to life. I am so glad I went home to save her. I am praying to the saint of cats that she lives to November. I want to see her again. No one or thing loves or favors me more than my baby girl. I won't let cancer beat her. Stay strong.
Time to cuddle up in 500 count Egyptian cotton sheets and watch reruns of Ally McBeal. Cheers to starting a new and much better day.
It was a horrible week, but I am writing that off on the weather. Rain, rain go away. The upcoming forecast is a sunny weekend. I am hoping for a more sunny outcome of events as well.
Since my life has been man free for the last few weeks, I am trying a new method as a test of my desirability. All was going well until I was contacted by a toe sucking freak. Blocked. More hopes for the future and a real wealthy prince charming.
I have started writing the wonderful book. I have an outline and most of a chapter. I had a job offer, but I haven't heard anything from the employer in over a week. I am hoping it is because a position has not yet come available. My fingers are still crossed.
My baby girl is still surviving and holding on to life. I am so glad I went home to save her. I am praying to the saint of cats that she lives to November. I want to see her again. No one or thing loves or favors me more than my baby girl. I won't let cancer beat her. Stay strong.
Time to cuddle up in 500 count Egyptian cotton sheets and watch reruns of Ally McBeal. Cheers to starting a new and much better day.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Weekend Vacation, Future Ideas
The weekend at Ole Miss was wonderful. I learned a lot about the close minded competitiveness of the Ole South. I enjoyed myself at the number three party school, but nothing compares to Athens. I was reaffirmed that I made the best choice for me. I have decided on my book plan. It will require tons of research, but I am excited about the topic. I am ready to begin working on it in the small amount of free time I have available.
I want to travel alone somewhere. Maybe not Europe, but somewhere with a train. I would prefer a slow train more less like the Euro star. I want an over night compartment where I could sit and read and eat and reflect. Mostly I want to meet strangers and listen to them speak. Charleston would be a lovely place to visit. I have not been in awhile and I want so badly to go on the South of Board walking tour. If Pat Conroy would be the guide I would die of happiness.
I would also love a tryst of some kind. A secret sober rendezvous with silk sheets on a riverboat with that instant spark.
I am thinking about adding more body to my hair. I want that slight curl on the end with a less dramatic layering that would hopefully frame my slightly less bloated face. Special K was working but I need to cut out alcohol for true weight loss and I cant see that fitting in with my current lifestyle choice. If this week tones down some I plan on adding more gym hours to the mix. After spending six hours reading Women's Health and Fitness I have more motivation. If cancer patients can go to the gym 5 days a week so can I. Time to start a new week full of activity. Tomorrow I will go to the gym and get a pedicure. Deal.
I want to travel alone somewhere. Maybe not Europe, but somewhere with a train. I would prefer a slow train more less like the Euro star. I want an over night compartment where I could sit and read and eat and reflect. Mostly I want to meet strangers and listen to them speak. Charleston would be a lovely place to visit. I have not been in awhile and I want so badly to go on the South of Board walking tour. If Pat Conroy would be the guide I would die of happiness.
I would also love a tryst of some kind. A secret sober rendezvous with silk sheets on a riverboat with that instant spark.
I am thinking about adding more body to my hair. I want that slight curl on the end with a less dramatic layering that would hopefully frame my slightly less bloated face. Special K was working but I need to cut out alcohol for true weight loss and I cant see that fitting in with my current lifestyle choice. If this week tones down some I plan on adding more gym hours to the mix. After spending six hours reading Women's Health and Fitness I have more motivation. If cancer patients can go to the gym 5 days a week so can I. Time to start a new week full of activity. Tomorrow I will go to the gym and get a pedicure. Deal.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
From Dixie with Love
After the initial reverse cultural shock, I have to say it does feel good to be back in the South especially for football season. There is nothing greater in the world than southern football. The battle hymn of the republic followed by those two simple words that represent the entire bulldawg nation will always send chills down my spine even when it is over a hundred degrees and I am jam packed into a crowd of sweaty cheering fans. This weekend will be amazing. A trip to the Grove with ten of my favorite sisters to watch the dawgs win big. I am hoping to do some research on the book I have decided to write in my spare time (not that there is much of that). I am excited about it. I will be able to put some of my travel writing skills to good use.
Big/little is tomorrow. I get a grandlittle. I is terribly sad that I feel old only a month after turning 20. How did time go by so quickly? Today I was walking to my car from the parking lot at the house and heard the whistles and hit of pads echoing from Clarke Central. Line it up! Run it again! Its amazing that it has been three years since I heard that. The coach is even retired.
I have already begun planning my trips to Tennessee, Florida, and New Orleans. I am definitely going to squeeze in a road trip to Wilmington as well. Good thing I drive a car that gets a lot of miles to the gallon.
New goal of the semester is to make new friends. Not just down town friends either, but strangely enough sober friends. Sober friends with connections would be the most ideal especially if they personally knew Rick Steves. I would love to meet him which is the new addition to my life goals list.
The special K diet was a somewhat success. I cheated a few too many times to loose a complete pants size, but--lucky me--I have more than enough special k products to try again next week when I am not craving chocolate and salt so much. Omni has also been successful. I am hoping to go to a yoga class or Pilates on Thursday to unwind from the chaos that will occur tomorrow. Here's to hoping it all goes well.
Big/little is tomorrow. I get a grandlittle. I is terribly sad that I feel old only a month after turning 20. How did time go by so quickly? Today I was walking to my car from the parking lot at the house and heard the whistles and hit of pads echoing from Clarke Central. Line it up! Run it again! Its amazing that it has been three years since I heard that. The coach is even retired.
I have already begun planning my trips to Tennessee, Florida, and New Orleans. I am definitely going to squeeze in a road trip to Wilmington as well. Good thing I drive a car that gets a lot of miles to the gallon.
New goal of the semester is to make new friends. Not just down town friends either, but strangely enough sober friends. Sober friends with connections would be the most ideal especially if they personally knew Rick Steves. I would love to meet him which is the new addition to my life goals list.
The special K diet was a somewhat success. I cheated a few too many times to loose a complete pants size, but--lucky me--I have more than enough special k products to try again next week when I am not craving chocolate and salt so much. Omni has also been successful. I am hoping to go to a yoga class or Pilates on Thursday to unwind from the chaos that will occur tomorrow. Here's to hoping it all goes well.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Why is it July 1st?
I can not believe how quickly the summer has gone by; it feels like just the other day I was stalking the Jersey Shore at their pizza place and having conversations with the camera crew at the popular clubs. I also have already finished one incredible class at LDM. Travel writing was wonderful. It was by far one of the most interesting classes I have taken in college. The class has shown me a few options of things I could possibly do with my major in the future. Life in Florence has also been wonderful. I am really getting to know everything about the city and its culture. I do not think I could ever live here permanently (the lack of DDP is a huge deal breaker) but a summer in Italy has been wonderful. Through the friends I have made here I am beginning to connect more with my hipster side. I have gained an appreciation for more nature and modern art. Even a piece of rusted metal can be beautiful. Living expenses have also helped me to grow up some. I never realized before how many little things like paper towels, swiffer, and laundry are necessary to run a household. It has also been an experience learning to take care of these things for myself. A traveling to Paris by myself greatly helped my independence and confidence. In the times I was alone I was able to make friends and be one of the more outgoing people. I learned through my hostel stays more about different cultures and the way outsiders viewed the United States. I can tell that I am growing as a person through my time here. I am sad that my monomyth is half way completed, but I plan on greatly enjoying the time that I have left in Italy.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Not as Creative as Italy
Life in Florence goes well. I have made friends and I do well in my class. I love the traveling. Visiting the sites of some of the most inspiring work in the world does wonders for the imagination. Travel writing has stolen my heart. I love long flowing descriptions and recording the life of a tourist. I believe I have discovered a life plan for myself. At least something to get me started on the right path. Yesterday I met Nicky Swallow. A name unfamilar to most, but pick up an Italy guide book from Barnes and Noble and her name is emblazoned on the title page. I can make a living traveling the world and writing about it. To begin with I would start as a fact checker. I would take a guide book written by someone else and guarantee they didn't make any mistakes that would throw a tourist into utter confusion. From there I would work my way up to writer. It sounds so perfect. The writing in guide books is much better too. More journalistic and less creative. I am not the best creative writer. My professor told me today that my writing style was very good but far too formal and grammatical. She wants me to break the rules and be more bold and daring in my sentence structure, but I like uniform and rigor. In my opinion messages are many times lost when the writer strays away from the rules of grammar. When the author writes in things like stream of conscious the message is made more difficult to understand. I do see my professor's point though. I am very stiff and formal. Not only in my writing, but in most aspects of life. The goal for the rest of the summer is to relax my personality more, and crumble more away from the wall in which I use to distance myself from the world. I am to work on being more approachable, and in a land full of strangers I will have plenty of practice.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Postcard #1
The touch screen box contraption in front of me lit up with numerous options, but none of the small windows read, “Buy a ticket.” Instead all of the print on the apparatus was written in Italian, so I stared hopelessly dumbfounded at the fast ticket machine as locals and tourist alike bustled past me carrying varying forms of luggage. Seeing the look of confusion permanently glued to my face, my traveling companion, a New Yorker and subway riding expert named Nicole, scurried over to manipulate the magic box. She typed in a mystical unlock pattern, and suddenly the English translations appeared on the screen. After a few more taps and an exchange of my credit card information, I was rewarded with a round trip train ticket to Viareggio.
The train ride was about an hour and thirty minutes, and we spent the entire journey with our eyes on the wondrous Tuscany country side that was beyond the grimy window. Vast expanses of classic stucco houses with rustic tiled roofs filled the picture frame. The houses were off set by the gradient grass hills covered in browning terraces. Every now and then a conscientious Italian farmer or a grazing heard of cattle would add character to the picturesque landscape. The sea of burnt sienna, emerald, parchment, and brick went swimming past as the locomotive speed for the next railway stop.
After short stops in Lucca and other small Tuscan towns, Viareggio appeared on the royal blue sign with white lettering that indicated we had arrived at the train station. With excitement, my friends and I collected our beach bags and jumped onto the concrete platform as soon as the sliding metal doors opened. The inside of the station was a blur of caffes lined with gelato, croissants, italian sandwiches, and newspaper and magazine stands as we rushed outside to the road that would take us to the beach.
Passing through the glass train station doors was like entering into a circus tent. Palm trees flanked the cobble stone street that was home to candy colored shops and apartments. In the center of the vertical street was a sandstone church that towered above the rest of the taffy flavored buildings. The church was decorated with a modest white cross, small exterior statues, and a pastel colored fresco high above the door. Moving on from the church was a brick clock tower that rang out in chimes every fifteen minutes; it was a block from the clock tower that the horizontal board walk began.
More shops and palm tress made up the board walk and there were even a few small children’s rides. Hungry, we entered one of the pizza restaurants that was oozing with the smell of freshly baked dough. Lynette, a Texas girl who spoke the most Italian in the group, asked, “Quanto costa questo?” The shop keeper, a rounded Italian man with a trusting smile, hefted a slice onto a scale and pointed at the numbers that appeared on the cash register. “Uno, trenta euro.” he replied. A bargain! We quickly paid in coins and took our pizza slices to-go.
We walked the twenty feet to the dark sand which was scalding hot on our feet. Vibrant tents, beach chairs, and towels littered the beach as grey mountains loomed in the distance. Locals were everywhere soaking in UV rays to brown already tan bodies or playing games of volleyball and soccer on designated parts of the shore. My two companions and I scouted out a clear spot near the sun bathed tide. We set up our small camp of towels and sat down to take in the relaxed atmosphere and watch the sail boats drifting in the distance.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Paradise Found: Chapter Eat
The road to an Eat, Pray, Love version of self discovery has begun. My version includes far less food. Although the food in Florence is incredible, I have been on a mission to eat healthier. Out of all of my close companions, I seem to be the most addicted to bad junk food habits. Lynette, an environmentalist from Texas, is on a strict organic food diet. Jill, a vegan from Boston, also preaches about the importance of eliminating junk food. Therefore, I surrendered not only my beloved DDP, but also most gelato and large amounts of carb-filled pasta. I have instead been dining some of the best grilled dishes and sushi that Italy has to offer. The pizza here contains no grease, and it usually is only two ingredients. My ultimate favorite so far has been slow roasted ham on fresh baked pizza dough with mozzarella cheese. The pomodoro, mozzarella, and basicilo is also incredible. Grilled fish and muscles off the Italian coast is another wonderful dish that is more healthy. Occasionally I am allowing myself to stray away from the calorie conscious food. On these few occasions, I allow myself a meal of the most mouth watering pasta creations and delectable canolis. Not only is this method helping to battle of a few extra pounds it is also teaching me to appreciate many new foods.
Another victory in the weight loss battle has been my ability to exercise more. I am using my car-less summer to tone up and get into shape. My Florentine apartment is on the 2nd floor according to the Italians, but in the States this is definitely more like the 3rd or 4th floor. Everyday multiple times a day I walk up and down the steps that lead to my apartment. I attempted once to count the number of steps, but got discouraged after reaching the 20th step and not being anywhere near my front door. Now I just climb them without thinking. I also have been walking everywhere. I don't waste any of my precious euros on the bus or taxi. Florence is not an incredibly large town, but I get in a lot of miles every day. At first I was in pain every morning after exploring the city for hours on end. I woke up with sore muscles, shin splints, and aching arches. Slowly my poor body is beginning to adjust to this new strenuous walking schedule. The aches and pains have loosed their grip on my body and begun to reside. My stamina for heat and exercise is gradually building up. At the end of these next two months I should be tanned and toned to perfection.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I survied the rapture.
After a full day of flying, I have finally made it to Rome. I was terrified the plane was about to fall out of the sky due to the crazy people who thought the rapture was happening, but alas no problems. I landed safe and sound. My first day in Rome was filled with sleep and food. The food is incredible, but I need to learn portion control. Today I will be spending the day remembering all of my high school Latin. We are exploring the sites of ancient Rome. If all goes as planned someone will reenact scenes from Gladiator with me. I am also hoping that today with banish the last of my jet lag which is getting in the way of carpe deim. It is difficult to take full advantage of my day in Rome when I am in varying stages of exhaustion. At least I am alive and in Rome. Two things to smile about. Thank you God for not ending the world. Now it is time to begin my Italian summer!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Leaving Less To Fate
Time for some new life changes. With the semester over, I feel like a new set of goals are necessary. My problem is that I just don't know exactly what it is I want. Confidence is a good place to start. I am a Leo, damn it. Time to stop feeling so timid and awkward. Goal One: Be Assertive.
Another problem I've been having is my weight. I just don't feel comfortable and sexy these days. I sorta just feel fat all the time. The denials have come to an end. Its not bloating; I just eat way too much. This very moment its 2 am, and I am craving a hotdog and fried coconut with chilli sauce. Huge problem. Time to be assertive and use some much needed willpower. I need to use the same willpower to make myself exercise. Walking, biking, swimming or whatever it takes. Goal Two: Comeback of the high school body.
Chaos also seems to have taken a strong hold on my life. I am in desperate need of more organization and direction. I also feel the need to take more responsibility for myself. By the end of the summer I will be two decades old; its time to grow up. I want to be able to do things for myself. No more relying on others. Goal Three: Organization and Control.
Emotional baggage has been in my life for too long. I need to get rid of it. Time to leave it all by the roadside for the trash collection. I need to be comfortable with myself and my past relationship so that I can just relax and open up. I want to be someone's someone special and do that I need to be comfortable with them and me. Goal Four: Find a relaxed me.
I want to be happier in my life as well. I want to focus more on the positives and less on the negative things I feel. Time to stop being so anxious and broody. Goal Five: Smile. A lot.
Another problem I've been having is my weight. I just don't feel comfortable and sexy these days. I sorta just feel fat all the time. The denials have come to an end. Its not bloating; I just eat way too much. This very moment its 2 am, and I am craving a hotdog and fried coconut with chilli sauce. Huge problem. Time to be assertive and use some much needed willpower. I need to use the same willpower to make myself exercise. Walking, biking, swimming or whatever it takes. Goal Two: Comeback of the high school body.
Chaos also seems to have taken a strong hold on my life. I am in desperate need of more organization and direction. I also feel the need to take more responsibility for myself. By the end of the summer I will be two decades old; its time to grow up. I want to be able to do things for myself. No more relying on others. Goal Three: Organization and Control.
Emotional baggage has been in my life for too long. I need to get rid of it. Time to leave it all by the roadside for the trash collection. I need to be comfortable with myself and my past relationship so that I can just relax and open up. I want to be someone's someone special and do that I need to be comfortable with them and me. Goal Four: Find a relaxed me.
I want to be happier in my life as well. I want to focus more on the positives and less on the negative things I feel. Time to stop being so anxious and broody. Goal Five: Smile. A lot.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Back to the Future
Although I didn't make the dream team all A's that my mother was praying for, I did well enough this semester (or at least I will after I knock out these last two pesky finals). My daddy put it best when he said, "She hasn't failed a class yet! Let her party and have fun." I like his motto, and I fully plan to adhere to it. I had a wonderful time this semester. I won't be missing the classes, but there are definitely some friends that I will be sad to see leave next Friday.
My leave of absence from the gym is being to show on my hips and thighs, but the problem will soon be corrected. I don't plan on eating in Italy since food is last on the list of things I plan on buying. All of the walking around Florence and other travel destinations should also help melt off that extra weight. So fuck ramsey. I have been and plan on continuing to get my exercise through more fun and exciting methods.
Sharing feelings never was a strong suit of mine, but to be totally honest I am not sure how I feel these days. Being that it is that time of the month and the end of the spring semester, my emotions have run slightly haywire. I am happy, sad, excited, and sentimental all at the same time. Bundled together its all one really confusing emotion. I love all of my friends, and I am sad that I will be saying good bye to some of them for long periods of time. There are plenty of people I am going to greatly miss this summer and next year. I will definitely have to find ways to keep in touch. I am also excited and nervous about my trip to Italy. Twelve weeks is the longest I will have been away from home and friends. I am sad that I won't be able to completely share my experience with some of the people I love the most. I am sure all will work out wonderfully in the end, but at the moment a nervous anticipation won't leave me. Everything will work out for the best.
I have finally gotten (almost) completely comfortable with a certain boy. I was afraid to be completely open with him due to past experiences and recent heart break. Therefore I set the ground rules rather strictly. I now feel that I would be more than willing to negotiate. A distinct giddiness and my former confidence is beginning to come back to me as I spend more time with this boy. Sadly time does me no favors. I will only be able to see this boy for another week, and then a twelve week leave of absence. With such a long period of time to myself, I see no need to change the rules. Let us both go out and enjoy life. Whatever happens will be left in the hands of fate. If nothing else, it has been a lot of fun.
Trying something new is definitely at the top of my list. I have made goals for this summer. I plan on falling in love with travel writing. Then I can hopefully use my skill to get a job with Rick Steve's or, even better, start my rival company to Rick Steve. I also plan on building my Italian language skills. I want to be able to carry out a full conversation (above a kindergarten level) with a fluent Italian speaker. I also fully intend on being an extra on The Jersey Shore. I discovered today that the entire cast will be staying in the same dorms as me this summer. My mission is to find the cast party with them for a least one night. I am going to make Snooki my best friend. I plan on convincing her to come to Athens to hang out with me and all of my friends. Challenge accepted.
My leave of absence from the gym is being to show on my hips and thighs, but the problem will soon be corrected. I don't plan on eating in Italy since food is last on the list of things I plan on buying. All of the walking around Florence and other travel destinations should also help melt off that extra weight. So fuck ramsey. I have been and plan on continuing to get my exercise through more fun and exciting methods.
Sharing feelings never was a strong suit of mine, but to be totally honest I am not sure how I feel these days. Being that it is that time of the month and the end of the spring semester, my emotions have run slightly haywire. I am happy, sad, excited, and sentimental all at the same time. Bundled together its all one really confusing emotion. I love all of my friends, and I am sad that I will be saying good bye to some of them for long periods of time. There are plenty of people I am going to greatly miss this summer and next year. I will definitely have to find ways to keep in touch. I am also excited and nervous about my trip to Italy. Twelve weeks is the longest I will have been away from home and friends. I am sad that I won't be able to completely share my experience with some of the people I love the most. I am sure all will work out wonderfully in the end, but at the moment a nervous anticipation won't leave me. Everything will work out for the best.
I have finally gotten (almost) completely comfortable with a certain boy. I was afraid to be completely open with him due to past experiences and recent heart break. Therefore I set the ground rules rather strictly. I now feel that I would be more than willing to negotiate. A distinct giddiness and my former confidence is beginning to come back to me as I spend more time with this boy. Sadly time does me no favors. I will only be able to see this boy for another week, and then a twelve week leave of absence. With such a long period of time to myself, I see no need to change the rules. Let us both go out and enjoy life. Whatever happens will be left in the hands of fate. If nothing else, it has been a lot of fun.
Trying something new is definitely at the top of my list. I have made goals for this summer. I plan on falling in love with travel writing. Then I can hopefully use my skill to get a job with Rick Steve's or, even better, start my rival company to Rick Steve. I also plan on building my Italian language skills. I want to be able to carry out a full conversation (above a kindergarten level) with a fluent Italian speaker. I also fully intend on being an extra on The Jersey Shore. I discovered today that the entire cast will be staying in the same dorms as me this summer. My mission is to find the cast party with them for a least one night. I am going to make Snooki my best friend. I plan on convincing her to come to Athens to hang out with me and all of my friends. Challenge accepted.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Addendum: The Queen of Youshken Rises Again
I correct myself. I won't be alone. There are parts of my heart which were shaped and gifted to me by special people who touched my life. Those parts I had hidden and banished from myself in this last year if not longer. It is after much searching and revelation that I have found them again. I felt much the way I imagine the Grinch did the day his heart grew three sizes too big. I am a much less shallow, empty person. I have found myself, all of myself, again. I can never be completely alone. I will always carry with me those people who have made a difference in me. They changed me for the better and remind me of all the things I love about myself. I am leo the lion. I have power and a voice. I am the Queen of Youshken. There is perfection amongst all of my imperfections. I have inherited the determination, compassion, and child like eagerness I was missing. I have my messed up words and love of animals. I am so lucky that I even have my own country. I am not alone. My heart will not let me unravel. I stand strong with those who love me. I am unbreakable. Everything is gonna be alright.
Falling Apart All Alone
The comment never ceases to be true. "I have no doubt you will be successful, but you will always be alone." When put in a bad situation, I can count on the kindness of others to help me, but close friends are not really to be found. Alone I will always be. That person I can call at 5 in the morning is there, but the one who will stay awake and let me break down without judgment is gone. I don't doubt that some of my sisters would be there to help me, but I am not sure if I can show them the weakness inside of me. That would make me so vulnerable to the world, and how can I trust just anyone with that side of me. To cry is to be so weak. Why would I ever give someone else that power over me? To upset me so much as to bring me to tears. I am unbreakable. A lion at heart yet so many have attempted to bring me down. Why do I let them? I may be alone, but strength I find in myself can't be taken away. It may be very lonely, but alone I am unbreakable. The connection found in others is always tested and seemingly always broken. The connection found in myself has been tested and held true every time. I can glue myself back together but it will be by myself. Others need not help me because I am strong on my own. When I open up to others they only seem to test my trust and try to break me. I have faith in myself and myself alone. I will not break. I am the captain of my soul; I am the master of my fate. WEH said it all in those last two lines. They have held true all of these years and continue to hold true. When I fall apart all by myself, I will be there to pick up the pieces. I feel the pain and dry my eyes. In the end everything is gonna be fine fine fine. I've got one hand in my pocket and the other is hailing a cab. Because everything is gonna be alright. Lullaby.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Finding Order in Chaos
As the semester is quickly drawing to a close, I find that I am definitely ready to be done with all of my core classes. The next four semesters are to be exciting, and I will finally get to be writing and working toward something meaningful. No more pointless fillers. Although the end goal is a best sellers list preferably NY Times, I do need something to do to pay bills so journalism it is. I think writing could be fun. I am dreaming of interning in Chicago. It would be like living in a Meg Ryan movie. I love it. Now just to drudge through the next 4 weeks.
I am starting to get to fat for my clothes, but I just don't feel like going to the gym anymore. I wanted to go shopping for a whole new summer wardrobe anyways. Better fat and happy than thin and hungry. Cookies are winning.
"I have no doubt that you will be successful, but you will definitely be alone." I wish someone had never said that to me; it feels too true much of the time. Time to work on being less awkward in social situations. I have been longing for more human connection lately. Not just the shallow everyday connection, but that true understanding of another person. I want more of that in my life. My communications needs work. Roommate bonding has at least been at an all time high lately. It was good to revisit old memories and make some wonderful new ones. I am definitely on the right path with some of my amazing friends.
Timing, magic, and connection are everything in relationships. Sadly the stars have to align to make things work, and when it doesn't your left with an almost empty fun. Maybe good friends can come of this type of fun, but it could also just be a good time to be remembered fondly. Then again sometimes the stars can surprise you align at the most random of times. Confusing situations are best when naturally worked out on their own.
I am doing my best to get more involved in things outside of deeg. I was so involved in high school, and it was a wonderful experience. I had more pride and commitment to my school. I made friends with a wider group of people, and I built up confidence in myself. Time to do more of the same at UGA. With the realization of the limited time I have left to enjoy my college experience I want to get out and do more than just a sorority. I want to take more active roles in my organizations pertaining to UGA. Time to broaden my horizons.
I am starting to get to fat for my clothes, but I just don't feel like going to the gym anymore. I wanted to go shopping for a whole new summer wardrobe anyways. Better fat and happy than thin and hungry. Cookies are winning.
"I have no doubt that you will be successful, but you will definitely be alone." I wish someone had never said that to me; it feels too true much of the time. Time to work on being less awkward in social situations. I have been longing for more human connection lately. Not just the shallow everyday connection, but that true understanding of another person. I want more of that in my life. My communications needs work. Roommate bonding has at least been at an all time high lately. It was good to revisit old memories and make some wonderful new ones. I am definitely on the right path with some of my amazing friends.
Timing, magic, and connection are everything in relationships. Sadly the stars have to align to make things work, and when it doesn't your left with an almost empty fun. Maybe good friends can come of this type of fun, but it could also just be a good time to be remembered fondly. Then again sometimes the stars can surprise you align at the most random of times. Confusing situations are best when naturally worked out on their own.
I am doing my best to get more involved in things outside of deeg. I was so involved in high school, and it was a wonderful experience. I had more pride and commitment to my school. I made friends with a wider group of people, and I built up confidence in myself. Time to do more of the same at UGA. With the realization of the limited time I have left to enjoy my college experience I want to get out and do more than just a sorority. I want to take more active roles in my organizations pertaining to UGA. Time to broaden my horizons.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Good Karma is Back in Fashion
My set back became a comeback this week. I got into my college, and I will now be able to graduate on time!! Super excited about that one. My parents aren't as disappointed in me anymore which is always a bonus. I also did very well on all of my tests and projects last week. Now I just need to beast all of my stuff this week. Hello deeg study hours.
I am still vacationing from the gym, but I promise to go back this up coming week. In the meantime, I have been climbing the stairs to the 5th floor for class everyday. I also just broke down and bought clothes that fit my more curved hips. Seemed like an easy solution at the time. Slight fail but still gonna look like a bombshell at deeg formal or fuck the system formal.
No huge emotional break through this week, but I did get to spend time with people I haven't seen in awhile. It was wonderful to catch up and share many memorable moments. It was a great week spent with friends. I was open with one of my friends about our relationship issues this week, but I have to say that I have started to catch myself being less open lately though. I have kept a few things to myself and someone did call me out on not talking enough about myself. I will try to be more open next week.
Boy has been very charming lately. He took me out to dinner on Thursday in celebration of my academic success. The physical has also been amazing. I definitely feel like I am becoming more comfortable around him. Things are fun, and I am enjoying myself.
I have been working on making an effort to be nice to others and do what I can to make other people happy. It has made me feel better about myself for being less of a bitch, and good karma has come back to me in many ways. I am having a good time in my life, and I feel better about myself.
I am still vacationing from the gym, but I promise to go back this up coming week. In the meantime, I have been climbing the stairs to the 5th floor for class everyday. I also just broke down and bought clothes that fit my more curved hips. Seemed like an easy solution at the time. Slight fail but still gonna look like a bombshell at deeg formal or fuck the system formal.
No huge emotional break through this week, but I did get to spend time with people I haven't seen in awhile. It was wonderful to catch up and share many memorable moments. It was a great week spent with friends. I was open with one of my friends about our relationship issues this week, but I have to say that I have started to catch myself being less open lately though. I have kept a few things to myself and someone did call me out on not talking enough about myself. I will try to be more open next week.
Boy has been very charming lately. He took me out to dinner on Thursday in celebration of my academic success. The physical has also been amazing. I definitely feel like I am becoming more comfortable around him. Things are fun, and I am enjoying myself.
I have been working on making an effort to be nice to others and do what I can to make other people happy. It has made me feel better about myself for being less of a bitch, and good karma has come back to me in many ways. I am having a good time in my life, and I feel better about myself.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Winning Duh
After a few minor setbacks with school, I am ready to study my ass off for the next two months until I am back on track. The goal is to be fluent in Italian by the end of the summer. Fingers crossed that one happens. My study abroad to Italy is in the works. I will know more later, but I should be in Italy at the same time as the Jersey Shore. I WILL MAKE IT ON THE SHOW! My parents would be so proud or at least my momma mia will be. As for the rest of this semester, I am on one of the last laps, and it is time to make it really count. What I achieve now will follow me for the rest of my life. Time to hit the science library. Bring on the study hours.
My vacation from the gym also needs to end this upcoming week. I have been eating way too damn much food, and it is starting to show. Time to get back on the treadmill and burn off all the tim tam and beignet calories I inhaled over Mardi Gras and Spring Break. Sorta wishing I was still in good with my old personal trainer. I guess Butts and Guts at Ramsey will just have to kick my ass into shape again.
Since sitting in the car has become way too much of a habit, I have definitely been extremely open with one friend in particular. We may as well have been the same person (minor exceptions not included) for the past two weeks. We have learned a lot about each other. Being open and friendlier with my parents is still going well. It is just strange still to talk to my parents about some aspects of my life although listening to my Mother's stories about her days at Spinakers was so amusing. I have also been more friendly and making a lot of random and yet awesome new friends. Successful endeavor of the last few weeks.
Boys have taken a back seat as of lately. Road trips haven't allowed much time for that. Although one boy in particular was extremely sweet on Mardi Gras. Grad gestures are always appreciated.
Trying new things can definitely be marked off as a success. In the last few weeks I have done so much I have never done before, and my never have I ever list has been reduced slightly. Its been so much freaking fun! I have come way with so many new experiences, friends, and stories. I have definitely had some moments that I will never forget, and memories that will leave me laughing for the rest of my life. True life I survived, and I am loving life.
My vacation from the gym also needs to end this upcoming week. I have been eating way too damn much food, and it is starting to show. Time to get back on the treadmill and burn off all the tim tam and beignet calories I inhaled over Mardi Gras and Spring Break. Sorta wishing I was still in good with my old personal trainer. I guess Butts and Guts at Ramsey will just have to kick my ass into shape again.
Since sitting in the car has become way too much of a habit, I have definitely been extremely open with one friend in particular. We may as well have been the same person (minor exceptions not included) for the past two weeks. We have learned a lot about each other. Being open and friendlier with my parents is still going well. It is just strange still to talk to my parents about some aspects of my life although listening to my Mother's stories about her days at Spinakers was so amusing. I have also been more friendly and making a lot of random and yet awesome new friends. Successful endeavor of the last few weeks.
Boys have taken a back seat as of lately. Road trips haven't allowed much time for that. Although one boy in particular was extremely sweet on Mardi Gras. Grad gestures are always appreciated.
Trying new things can definitely be marked off as a success. In the last few weeks I have done so much I have never done before, and my never have I ever list has been reduced slightly. Its been so much freaking fun! I have come way with so many new experiences, friends, and stories. I have definitely had some moments that I will never forget, and memories that will leave me laughing for the rest of my life. True life I survived, and I am loving life.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Falling off the Bandwagon
Its been one really rough week. After picking up an unfortunate cold from hell I haven't been able to breathe for the last 7 days. Since breathing was a difficulty I skipped out on going to the gym at all this week, and sadly lots of desserts made appearances this week as well. Massive spring break body fail. Time to get back to a life of Ramsey and healthy choice meals. At least for the next three days. I will make myself do a lot of walking in New Orleans to make up for the mass amounts of king cake and beignets I plan on devouring. My goal of bathing suit ready gets a definite needs improvement.
School was another fail this week. Test anxiety kicked in and I managed to have a serious melt down in the middle of my test and didn't even get halfway finished before time was called. Not good. Luckily we are allowed to drop a test grade so that will definitely not be making an appearance in order to contribute to my final grade. Now I just have to do better for the next test. Another needs improvement.
I have at least been much more open with my feelings and emotions this week. Thank god my best friend was able to help me when I was a shit show on Tuesday. It felt amazing to destroy everything. I have also been able to talk to a lot more people about specific things I have been feeling. Its been nice. I am slowly starting to feel less guarded and alone. So this at least is continued improvement.
On to boys, specifically one boy who scares me. After a very serious conversation about our situation I am pretty sure we agreed to keep it casual, but we are trying the whole sober hang out thing. That makes me nervous as hell. Not really sure how I feel, but I will just see where life takes me. I suppose this would a be continued improvement as well.
As for trying something new, lots of things I have never done before happened this weekend. I can't say that I will ever want to call an ambulance or stay up all night to watch a building get blown up again, but I can at least add those to the list of life experiences. Another continued improvement. I have to say I am definitely looking forward to the week to come. It should be much better than the last.
School was another fail this week. Test anxiety kicked in and I managed to have a serious melt down in the middle of my test and didn't even get halfway finished before time was called. Not good. Luckily we are allowed to drop a test grade so that will definitely not be making an appearance in order to contribute to my final grade. Now I just have to do better for the next test. Another needs improvement.
I have at least been much more open with my feelings and emotions this week. Thank god my best friend was able to help me when I was a shit show on Tuesday. It felt amazing to destroy everything. I have also been able to talk to a lot more people about specific things I have been feeling. Its been nice. I am slowly starting to feel less guarded and alone. So this at least is continued improvement.
On to boys, specifically one boy who scares me. After a very serious conversation about our situation I am pretty sure we agreed to keep it casual, but we are trying the whole sober hang out thing. That makes me nervous as hell. Not really sure how I feel, but I will just see where life takes me. I suppose this would a be continued improvement as well.
As for trying something new, lots of things I have never done before happened this weekend. I can't say that I will ever want to call an ambulance or stay up all night to watch a building get blown up again, but I can at least add those to the list of life experiences. Another continued improvement. I have to say I am definitely looking forward to the week to come. It should be much better than the last.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Funeral of a Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl. The boy gave the girl his number after winning a competition, and they began talking. The boy was shy so the girl took charge and asked him out on a date. They had so much fun together. It wasn't long until they were talking every day. There was one night when they stayed up the whole night talking on the phone. It was eight in the morning when the girl began talking about the clouds that the boy fell asleep. As he was drifting off to dream land all he could think about was how much he loved her. The boy made a promise to the girl and sealed it with a ring. They were happy for awhile.
Then the fairy tale ended. The boy and the girl began to change. He would make her cry, and she would look for comfort in all the wrong places. Then one day the boy stopped loving the girl, but he still used her for her body. When he had finished using the girl for a final time, the boy crushed the heart of the girl by telling her he was in love with someone else. He had found a replacement for the girl. The boy was cruel.
Now the girl has moved on in her life, but the sting of the boy's cruelty is still fresh especially on this day. This February 17th was the anniversary of the boy and girl loving each other. Now instead of an anniversary it is a funeral. It is the death of the boy's presence in the girl's life. Today is the last day the memory of the boy will haunt the girl. Tomorrow will be the start of something so much better for the girl.
Goodbye boy. RIP.
Then the fairy tale ended. The boy and the girl began to change. He would make her cry, and she would look for comfort in all the wrong places. Then one day the boy stopped loving the girl, but he still used her for her body. When he had finished using the girl for a final time, the boy crushed the heart of the girl by telling her he was in love with someone else. He had found a replacement for the girl. The boy was cruel.
Now the girl has moved on in her life, but the sting of the boy's cruelty is still fresh especially on this day. This February 17th was the anniversary of the boy and girl loving each other. Now instead of an anniversary it is a funeral. It is the death of the boy's presence in the girl's life. Today is the last day the memory of the boy will haunt the girl. Tomorrow will be the start of something so much better for the girl.
Goodbye boy. RIP.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Angry Girls on Vday
School has been going well. I had a week where there was nothing to do which was so relaxing. I definitely had some crazy nights thanks to my easy schedule. I had a test on Monday which I studied for all day Sunday. I think I did well but I never know. I should find out soon. School has been boring, but I have been keeping up with everything. Definite pass.
I have been slacking slightly at the gym lately. I was doing a bunch of dance class and then practicing dt, but my core needs more work. I have also been walking a lot since the weather has been so nice. At least my legs will be looking pretty in a few weeks. Now its time to get my abs into shape meaning no more Valentine's Day cupcakes (no matter how orgasmic). Mediocre.
Family relations are strong. I even called and talked to Daddy on the phone for 30 minutes the other day. Huge improvement over occasional facebook messages. Being more open with Momma Mia has also shown signs of success. We had our own Mother/Daughter day last weekend, and ever since she has been showering me with gifts. Love love love. As for opening up more to friends, I have been doing very well. I have been talking more people and trying to expand my circle some. Its been nice receiving more diverse opinions on problems and feelings I have. I have also opened up a lot to my best friend. I know it upsets her that I don't talk to her about the stuff that has been hurting me recently or my opinions of certain people. I finally told her about a lot of the pain Goose caused me and how I feel about it. I was honest about how he made me feel and where I thought I was with my emotions. It was good to talk to someone, but bringing everything to the surface made me feel really sad. Overall I feel like being less holed up with my feelings should be a good thing. Another definite pass.
Shacking has been really fun lately, but I feel as though I have been a little harsh with my actions. I should learn to be less of a bitch. He is a really nice guy, and I feel like I am starting to like more than just the physical. Relationships just scare the hell out of me especially this week. This week for relationships has just been so depressing. I have felt so lonely. Valentine's Day was fun, but not having one for the first time was really sad. Thank god for sisters. The 17th is also going to be so depressing. I can't decide if I want Goose to try to talk me just so I know he is still thinking about me on that day. I know I will be thinking about him no matter that he hurt me so bad or was just a huge asshole. So fucked up. I want him to go away. I don't feel anything for him anymore. I just miss what was once there. IDK. I am weird. I will be much happier after this week. Its just this first time that will be hard, but I will get through it. Boys fail.
As for trying something new, I have reached out to the deeg clan in New Orleans. It will be so cool to stay with them for Mardi Gras. This will be the first time I will have been to Fat Tuesday without my family. Crazy crazy times to come. So excited! Definite pass.
I have been slacking slightly at the gym lately. I was doing a bunch of dance class and then practicing dt, but my core needs more work. I have also been walking a lot since the weather has been so nice. At least my legs will be looking pretty in a few weeks. Now its time to get my abs into shape meaning no more Valentine's Day cupcakes (no matter how orgasmic). Mediocre.
Family relations are strong. I even called and talked to Daddy on the phone for 30 minutes the other day. Huge improvement over occasional facebook messages. Being more open with Momma Mia has also shown signs of success. We had our own Mother/Daughter day last weekend, and ever since she has been showering me with gifts. Love love love. As for opening up more to friends, I have been doing very well. I have been talking more people and trying to expand my circle some. Its been nice receiving more diverse opinions on problems and feelings I have. I have also opened up a lot to my best friend. I know it upsets her that I don't talk to her about the stuff that has been hurting me recently or my opinions of certain people. I finally told her about a lot of the pain Goose caused me and how I feel about it. I was honest about how he made me feel and where I thought I was with my emotions. It was good to talk to someone, but bringing everything to the surface made me feel really sad. Overall I feel like being less holed up with my feelings should be a good thing. Another definite pass.
Shacking has been really fun lately, but I feel as though I have been a little harsh with my actions. I should learn to be less of a bitch. He is a really nice guy, and I feel like I am starting to like more than just the physical. Relationships just scare the hell out of me especially this week. This week for relationships has just been so depressing. I have felt so lonely. Valentine's Day was fun, but not having one for the first time was really sad. Thank god for sisters. The 17th is also going to be so depressing. I can't decide if I want Goose to try to talk me just so I know he is still thinking about me on that day. I know I will be thinking about him no matter that he hurt me so bad or was just a huge asshole. So fucked up. I want him to go away. I don't feel anything for him anymore. I just miss what was once there. IDK. I am weird. I will be much happier after this week. Its just this first time that will be hard, but I will get through it. Boys fail.
As for trying something new, I have reached out to the deeg clan in New Orleans. It will be so cool to stay with them for Mardi Gras. This will be the first time I will have been to Fat Tuesday without my family. Crazy crazy times to come. So excited! Definite pass.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Body of Champions
After the pig fest/blackout that I blamed on the snow, life got even crazier. The creative writing class that I was so looking forward to taking ended up a bust. The people in there were so STRANGE, and my comments were called out by the professor for being too "bitchy." Withdrawal. Then my Intro to Acting class took a turn for tragedy as well. My professor died of a heart attack. Rest in peace. This week is finally the first week everything has been normal. I am enjoying the stability. I have been keeping up with my work load, and I should be able to make a 3.4 this semester. I am also completely applied to Grady. Now I am waiting and seriously hoping for the good news on March 4th. So that is a check plus in the good grades column.
Spring break is less than six weeks away. Scary. I have been doing well with the gym by making it to Ramsey at least three times a week. I also have been walking up all five flights of stairs to get to my Italian class. I will have the body of a champion by the time spring break is here. Now I just need to get my eating under control. I have been snacking WAY too much. Time for that slim quick. I also plan on stepping up the gym hours. For now the gym column only gets a check.
My parents have been playing a big role in my life this semester. I have been talking to both Momma Mia and Daddy a lot. They have even come to visit me and Mommy is coming to spend the day this Saturday for a Mother/Daughter Day. We are going to brunch, the basketball game, and (fingers crossed) out shopping. I have been open with my family about my life and my feelings. I have also been a lot more open with my friends. I am not holding back anymore. This may blow up in my face, but I am being more open with my thoughts and feelings. Next I plan on trying to be more outgoing. Again check plus in the opening up to others category.
Boys, boys, boys. Goose is definitely out of my life. I don't see us every really being close friends again. He was nice, but its over. I am really ok with that. I have been really happy without him. A lot happier than I was when we were clinging to each other. There has been another boy, and my number went up. I was really nervous at first but it got easier. I had really enjoyed it, so much so that I went back for another night. The physical attention has been lovely. I am having fun and I want to see how everything plays out. Another check plus for me.
So far all is in the positive. More updates to come.
Spring break is less than six weeks away. Scary. I have been doing well with the gym by making it to Ramsey at least three times a week. I also have been walking up all five flights of stairs to get to my Italian class. I will have the body of a champion by the time spring break is here. Now I just need to get my eating under control. I have been snacking WAY too much. Time for that slim quick. I also plan on stepping up the gym hours. For now the gym column only gets a check.
My parents have been playing a big role in my life this semester. I have been talking to both Momma Mia and Daddy a lot. They have even come to visit me and Mommy is coming to spend the day this Saturday for a Mother/Daughter Day. We are going to brunch, the basketball game, and (fingers crossed) out shopping. I have been open with my family about my life and my feelings. I have also been a lot more open with my friends. I am not holding back anymore. This may blow up in my face, but I am being more open with my thoughts and feelings. Next I plan on trying to be more outgoing. Again check plus in the opening up to others category.
Boys, boys, boys. Goose is definitely out of my life. I don't see us every really being close friends again. He was nice, but its over. I am really ok with that. I have been really happy without him. A lot happier than I was when we were clinging to each other. There has been another boy, and my number went up. I was really nervous at first but it got easier. I had really enjoyed it, so much so that I went back for another night. The physical attention has been lovely. I am having fun and I want to see how everything plays out. Another check plus for me.
So far all is in the positive. More updates to come.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Back to Reality
So the snowpocolypse hit Athens for the past week. I decided this was a good enough reason to postpone the "better oneself" theory. Its been a fantastic week, but tomorrow stability and responsibility make a reappearance in my life. Time to get back on track. The goal for the week is to buy my gym membership and get started on studying for classes. GO RAMSEY!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Year, A New Me
After spending a few days recovering from the hangover that followed ringing in this wonderful new year, I decided that the best way to ensure I keep my new year's resolutions was to start a blog that would track my progress. Its a Bridget Jone's Diary meets Eat, Pray, Love sort of thing. I figure this will definitely help, and it is going to be fun to pretend to be in my own "inspirational" chick flick. So here we go!
Resolution #1. Get into shape! I am positive this is number one on the list of many new year's resolutions. It has definitely been in my top five for awhile, but this year I plan on keeping it. Weekly rounds of yoga and palates are a must in my life for 2011. By the time spring break rolls around I plan on having a super sexy beach body. I will be looking hot and healthy.
Resolution #2. Bring up the GPA! As a college student, my grades haven't been ideal. I also haven't been the most ideal student since I got to college. But I am ready for that to change. It is time that I start taking more responsibility for myself by becoming a better student. This in return should allow me to make better grades and pull up my GPA. With better grades, I will be open to more opportunities, and it will feel really freaking good to make a few A's.
Resolution #3. Build stronger bonds with family and friends! Although I have never been extremely shy or reserved, I am closed off to the people who love me. I have never just completely brought down all of my guards and been open with someone which makes me feel lonely. I am tired of the loneliness. I think it is time that I was more open and more myself. I am hoping this will allow me to have stronger relationships with loved ones. Also I believe learning to be more open will let me open up more easily to strangers. I want to make new friends. I also want to meet a new guy who would be deserving of my heart. Which leads to...
Resolution #3.1. Find a boyfriend(s)! I am ready to start dating around after being burned by a previous relationship. The said previous relationship took a lot of time from me and therefore I have never really dated before. I am ready to face this new adventure. I just want to put myself out there and have fun with the whole thing. Hopefully it will lead to Prince Charming. Let the fairy tale begin!
Resolution #4. Try something new! I want to break outside of my comfort zone and do something new. I feel without always putting this one on the list life gets boring. I plan on keeping this resolution many times throughout the year beginning with this blog. It will be nice to spice life up and experience something I never have before.
I believe those resolutions are enough to keep me busy for one year. I will update as much as possible with my current progress at the gym and school. I will also post all the gossip about myself with my girlfriends and of course stories about my dating struggles and (fingers crossed) successes. Wish me luck, and hopefully the best will happen for me in 2011.
Resolution #1. Get into shape! I am positive this is number one on the list of many new year's resolutions. It has definitely been in my top five for awhile, but this year I plan on keeping it. Weekly rounds of yoga and palates are a must in my life for 2011. By the time spring break rolls around I plan on having a super sexy beach body. I will be looking hot and healthy.
Resolution #2. Bring up the GPA! As a college student, my grades haven't been ideal. I also haven't been the most ideal student since I got to college. But I am ready for that to change. It is time that I start taking more responsibility for myself by becoming a better student. This in return should allow me to make better grades and pull up my GPA. With better grades, I will be open to more opportunities, and it will feel really freaking good to make a few A's.
Resolution #3. Build stronger bonds with family and friends! Although I have never been extremely shy or reserved, I am closed off to the people who love me. I have never just completely brought down all of my guards and been open with someone which makes me feel lonely. I am tired of the loneliness. I think it is time that I was more open and more myself. I am hoping this will allow me to have stronger relationships with loved ones. Also I believe learning to be more open will let me open up more easily to strangers. I want to make new friends. I also want to meet a new guy who would be deserving of my heart. Which leads to...
Resolution #3.1. Find a boyfriend(s)! I am ready to start dating around after being burned by a previous relationship. The said previous relationship took a lot of time from me and therefore I have never really dated before. I am ready to face this new adventure. I just want to put myself out there and have fun with the whole thing. Hopefully it will lead to Prince Charming. Let the fairy tale begin!
Resolution #4. Try something new! I want to break outside of my comfort zone and do something new. I feel without always putting this one on the list life gets boring. I plan on keeping this resolution many times throughout the year beginning with this blog. It will be nice to spice life up and experience something I never have before.
I believe those resolutions are enough to keep me busy for one year. I will update as much as possible with my current progress at the gym and school. I will also post all the gossip about myself with my girlfriends and of course stories about my dating struggles and (fingers crossed) successes. Wish me luck, and hopefully the best will happen for me in 2011.
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